A Ton Of Fun Who Packs A Gun With All Her Other Freight

Kimberly and I have been living over here for about 3 years. During that time, we have flown back to the US and A about 6 times to visit friends and family.

Being away in a different environment slowly changes your point of view.

For example, whenever we land at the LA Airport, we immediately notice things. Firstly, everybody is connected on all sorts of cell phones, computers, blueberries...all talking to somebody. I always wonder what is so damned important that the whole country has to be constantly communicating with each other? Here in Nelson, Kimberly and I have completely avoided a cell phone and have found the quiet privacy to be a pleasure.

Then...there are a tremendous amount of really fat people out there and nobody seems to notice it. Obese humans are so common in the USA that it seems not to be an issue. When I was a kid, there was actually a job being the Fat Lady in the circus. Everyone at the airport or malls is way bigger than the old pro.

When we watch TV in America, many many ads are for pharmaceutical drugs, one after the other. They don't have those at all here. Anyway, one thing I brought over here were my Lipitor pills for high cholesterol. In fact, my doc here switched me to a different one called Lipex.

Now, as you know, Kimberly is a nurse who used to sell products for Abbott labs. She made very good money, but did not really like thee work due to travel woes. Lately she has been studying up on medications and has come to the conclusion that there is a lot of sham involved. She believes that diet and exercise is the answer to good health for most people. A lot of us take meds because the USA is a culture of drugstore cowboys who do whatever the TV tells us.

If you are a loyal reader, you recall my sinus problems which were cured by homeopathy after all the docs and meds had their turn up my nose.

Ok. To make a long story short, we are now off all non-natural pills and remedies. Think about it yourselves. Often the drugs have side effects that are worse than the original disease.

The worst I could do is be wrong in which case I will quickly die of a heart attack. This will make Rick somewhat relieved knowing I went before him.

Rich Man In His Summer Home

Back about 10 years ago, Kimberly had a very well paying job as a pharmaceutical rep. for Abbott Labs. Her territory included Hawaii. Of course, she had an expense account. As a well practiced mooch, I spent quite a bit of time lounging on the beach while she toiled away at some hospital. I learned to order Pina Coladas in the native tongue.

Sure, she was pushing drugs and probably single handedly started the entire health crisis which dominoed into the current world economy situation. But she was not quite as evil as Bernard Madoff.

Besides the pay was great and the scrounging could be compared to if Orsen Welles lived next door to a free 24 hour Dunkin Donuts. Come to think about it, that wouldn't be so bad for me either.

That being said, one day she comes to me with the brilliant idea of becoming a yoga teacher. Of course, I only had a few small questions. "What does it pay?" and "Will this new occupation take me to Kauai?"

Both answers were very disappointing. But what are ya gonna do?

So from then on, it's been yoga, yoga and more yoga.

Here in Nelson, Kimberly just retired from teaching at Hot Yoga, where she garnered quite a reputation as an instructor. Next, We decided to take a portion of our garage and turn it into a small studio where she can do private sessions.

She started doing these a few weeks ago.

Last week, she had business cards printed up. Nothing flash, just basic information.

Lots of people are excited and she already has steady cash paying students. Of course, in honor of Dad, taxes will be properly paid. The sponger in me has been reawakened.

Waikiki, here I come!

Don't Bogart That Joint, My Friend

On the dark occasion of drug addict, Bob Marley's birthday, it ironic that Michael Phelps, America's true hero, has gone from Role Model to Roll Model.

I am shocked, shocked that a gold medal Olympic star has been photographed smoking marijuana!

Has he no respect for his body? Doesn't he know cannabis destroys the brain and leads to heroin and kills millions of people every day???

I am officially taking down all my many Michael Phelps posters from the walls of my bedroom.

I remember back in the 60's and 70's when I was a big fan of country western singer, Willie Nelson. Then I come to learn that he was a pot smoker. That was it. I turned my attention to Glen Campbell and disco.

I have always been in favor of using sports greats as images for our children to emulate. I never agreed it should be parents or teachers who should show youth the way to behave. Entertainers and athletes seem to have it figured out, so kids should copy them, not small minded average people like members of the family.

But this hard drug business happens all too much with our heroes and I for one am getting sick and tired of this behavior. With Phelps, it is the last straw. He should be burned at the stake, or more appropriately, water boarded. His flipper feet should be surgically altered into 40 pound anvils.

The lungs he was filling with evil deadly smoke ware not just his. They belonged to every child in America... also General Mills.

At the very least, he should be thrown in jail like OJ or Tommy Chong (king of bongs). But being a "famous" person, he will probably do no time in prison.

I know if a teacher like me got caught with even a gram of weed in an illegal search, I would be suspended without pay and sent work at a school full of ne'er-do-wells.

Fortunately, because I grew up in the age of sportsmen like Mickey Mantle and clean living actors such as Robert Mitchum, that scenario could never happen to me.

I must stop writing now.

It's 4:20.