Friday, February 15, 2008

I'm Getting Hungry, Peel Me A Grape

Hello there. Normally, my grandpa writes these posts. But since I am visiting this week, I insisted that I write a little something about myself. This is my first time working with a computer, but I am sure it will turn out fine. Popi is helping me download the pictures.

My name is Chloe Whitney Bortnick, but for some reason, Popi calls me Chloepatra. That's because I am an independent gal who likes to get her way. Hey, it's 2008 and we may almost get a woman president. You all better get used to us.

The first and only thing you should know about me is that I like to get my way. I know I already said that, but I want no lack of communication here. When I want something, I want it now! I expect those around me to anticipate my needs before they become urgent. And my needs could become urgent in a microsecond. If you understand this, we will get along just fine. If you don't understand this simple fact, I don't even want to look at you.

My dining choices vary. I like all the healthy food groups from sweet to salty, crunchy to mushy. Finger foods are my favorite. But if the snacks do not please my palate at the moment, expect to find them strewn around the floor. And don't look at me when it is time to clean up. I don't do windows, senor.

As far as my beverage of choice, I like my drinks like I like my men, white and warm. And I am not the dainty type, I drink right from the bottle. I'm a sucker for soy, I never pay and keep 'em coming.

I am not one for conversation, I speak a language of my own. However, I expect you to be able to read my mind and know what I want. If you try to hand me some meal or plaything I don't feel like at the moment, expect to see me turn my head away from you completely.
In other words, "talk to my neck".

As a busy supermodel, I get very tired and cranky after having hundreds of photos taken of me. So I like to take naps. But again, I decide where and when...not you. And there better be a cozy blanket and some oral gratification nearby or you will soon hear about it.

Because I am an Aquarius, I like fast boats and the feel of the wind in my face. But I don't enjoy romantic walks on the beach. That is so last year. The sand and my precious feet do not agree. So I expect to be carried.
And I prefer to be carried on a litter by a slave.

I am famous for my luxurious tresses so like to be pampered and spend a lot of my spare time at the hairdressers. No Supercuts for me... only the finest beauty salons, thank you. and again, I don't pay.

Currently, I have a quaint 3 bedroom "crib" in the San Francisco area, where I enjoy daily walks by the bay with my pet pooch, Marley. As you can see, I love dogs. Here is one I found in New Zealand.

Unfortunetly, back home, I have to allow the 'rents to stay in the spare bedroom. But at least I have convinced them to take care of my every need. They are especially good at keeping me clean in my "private areas". Too bad for them my other Roman nickname is Poopus Maximus. Oh, well, at least I keep them on their toes and holding their nose. Can you think of a better way to get a warm bath?

Hopefully, they will find a place of their own soon. There is getting to be less and less room for my stuff. I certainly could use the extra closet space for my growing wardrobe. Did I mention my favorite color is pink? (Hint, hint)

My favorite song is by Diana Krall. If you want to be on my good side, you best learn the words:
But enough talking about myself... now you tell what you think of me.


At 4:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is such a shame that you have such an unattractive grandchild - a pity really... All those photos of her gorgeous baby blues and those adorable pink hats, so sad really...and her male carrier - what happened to him - was he hit by a truck when he was a little lad?? RIGHT!!!! Yes, I believe she is learning to wrap Brandon around her little tiny finger and I am sure you are total mush in her hands. Can't see enough of her - she is a true beauty!!!! I bet Brandon is already having nightmares about her getting older and BOYS will be around ALL the time!!!! I hope Brandon and Vanessa are having the best time ever and I am sure you and Kim can't get enough of Chloe -daddy would have just over spoiled her rotten and her feet would have never touched the ground!!! Enjoy her while you have her - love to you all - robin

At 6:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a cutie...did the Mom make the trip? no pictures of the whole family.


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