Friday, February 01, 2008

Oops! I Did It Again

In New Zealand, of course, we get the news of the world and therefore, The US and A. We are following the debates and all that they imply. But we miss a lot of the follow up and analysis. As a result, we don't know who to vote for. Fox Noise at least reminds us that The Clintons would return the country to undesirable peace and strong economy. But there will be plenty of lying and sex. At least with Bush, we didn't have to suffer through all that sex, leaving more time for lying.

But I digress. We also don't get very much info on this Brittany Spears deal. Sure, we know she is a pop singer from the Ozarks or some such place. She probably lived in a trailer or near one. She got discovered and made heaps of money as a clean cut singer.

Then, she completely turned tramp and screwed, smoked, drank, hung out with other rich debutarts, married, had babies, got fat and stupider...went to hospitals.

Should anyone be surprised???

But what we get from the American TV channels is a tremendous amount of pity. It's the "She needs help...We don't want her to turn out like Anna Nicole (remember her?)...I pity those children...We pray for her."

The truth is that everyone loves to oogle at a train wreck. I know I do and I know you do. And the media know we do too.

Today, much time was spent on Brit's latest trip to the hospital. They needed it, because Heath Ledger has been dead a week already. Another fine young actor leaving the stage prematurely due to drugs. He better grab that set next to River Phoenix before Christian Brando tries to sneak into it. No offense, but a actor who no longer exists is less interesting than an ambulance ride from an semi breathing hillbilly.

But the problem is that she goes to the hospital a little too much, don't you think? How about some artistic economy? The first time or two got my notice. She was driving around with the kid on her lap all the time and that was cool for a while. Then she upped the ante with the hospital stays. Good for her, we're all back to the oolging.

If I pity anyone in the circus, it might be Brit's agent, (likely a Jew) This person has to keep her name in the press. But as the Rev. Jessie Jackson might say, "after today's intervention, I am losing my attention"

So what's next? We gotta keep her alive but she needs to raise the bet to have us stay at the table until her kids are old enough to go off and get their own reality shows.

That's a good 7 years from now!

Some thoughts:

She gets a fatal disease, fights it like Lance Armstrong and wins. Then she competes in the Tour de France wearing day-glow crotchless bike pants.

Her own cooking show featuring possum and squirrel. Brit wears a low cut apron. Adds 10 High Whisky to all dishes. Manages to slur through dessert.

She runs for public office, say Mayor of her home town, McComb, Mississippi. She wins after promising to lower the drinking age and create a nudist colony near the US highway 55 exit ramp. The only rule is that the women must be completely shaved.

Goes back to school, gets her GED, applies to college, gets a Masters in Economics, goes on to teach at the university level. On casual Fridays, she shows up nude.

Becomes the spokesperson for Pringles. Gains a tremendous amount of weight. Goes on to win "The Biggest Loser". Uses prize money to buy new double wide mobile home.

You get the idea, Brit.

I'm bored.

Enough with the hospitals already, Girlfriend.

You're way slightly better than that.


At 6:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice opening picture, anyway.

At 3:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like the biggest loser photo, i might even watch it in the coming years if she was on. all of that crap is why we love our pause, fast-forward and pretaped shows to avoid any and all of the crap on the news - bush very much included. love - robin

At 6:05 AM, Blogger channelsurferdude said...

This says it all...shame on you!


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