The Present Now Will Later Be Past

Kimberly has a sister, Cindy. Her life at one time was full of drama, so I sometimes call her... Cindy!

Either way, she lives in the wonderful state of Texas in Houston with hubby, Larry and son, Lance. Those guys don't deserve the ! now, but back in the day Larry might have been called Larry!!$@&* and then some.

Since I have a rule never to set foot into Texas, we will probably not be visiting them in the future. Houston is famous for lots of things, but recently they are known for being the fattest city in America and also being neighborly enough to take in 100,000 refugees from Hurricane Katrina. Since that time, the crime rate in the friendly city has tripled.

Next time, they will think twice.

Anyhow, every year on birthdays and Xmas, Cindy! sends gifts. This year was no exception.

Since I am a golfer, I received a golfer's kit that included 3 tees, 3 balls, and a coffee cup. Sadly, the cup arrived broken. The tees have been used up, and the balls have yet to see the light of day.

Then there was a DVD that still puzzles me. It is a continual view of a fireplace burning wood. We already have a fireplace that does the same thing, the difference between the two is that ours has the additional feature of warming the surrounding air.

But the real treasure came in a tiny box... a potato peeler.

I have always had a pet peeve. I hate simple machines that are meant to do only one thing, and then fail to perform. In school, I had a lovely stapler. The trouble was that it didn't work. The staples got stuck or bent.

Like all of us, I have several tubes of Crazy Glue that only can affix the cap to the nozzle at the top of the tube.

I have had pencil sharpeners that are attractive on the wall, but grind pencils to nubs without making them pointy.

Wine openers that push the cork into the bottle...we've got 3 of 'em. By the way, NZ is on the forefront of curing this problem. They are putting fine wine in twist off capped bottles. No snob factor and the wine tastes the same. Most important, no cork in the bottle.

We all have many examples of these tools that can't perform the only job they were born to do. It is a rare pleasure the find some simple utensil that does its work right every time. Sort of like people.

Of course, we already have potato peelers, 2 of them. One works pretty good. The second is attractive, but of course, can't peel a thing. I don't know why we even keep it in the utensil drawer.

In some circles, I am famous for my mashed potatoes. Everyone should be known for something. Edmond Hillary conquered Everest. I make tasty, smooth mashed potatoes. Cindy! thinks I am so great, she sent me a new peeler.

But the peeler Cindy! sent me has become the best tool in the drawer. First, it is small and handy. It slips over the index finger like a piece of jewelry. This is truly white man kitchen BLING. One size fits all. Then, it quietly glides over the tuber with a smooth swipe removing a large swatch of peel. A potato can be denuded in a matter of seconds.

I can almost hear shitty peeler #3 quaking in the top drawer.

Though it is summer here, tonight we will enjoy smached spuds by the electronic glow of the roaring fire on the TV screen.

Even though it is 80 degrees, we will sit in the glow of our TV fire, gobbling mashed potatoes.

Next year, If we are really good, maybe Cindy! will send us a family of refugees.