Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead

What's all this I hear about Hillary Clinton passing away?

We were on the road last week and must have missed the news. Last I heard she was in Iowa, or was it Kansas? All the fine Journalists on the FOX news were saying how she was dead, but I guess it took a while for the impact of it to reach New Zealand.

Apparently it was a heart attack, but everyone knows she had no heart. I suspect some child threw water on her or something like that and she melted.

Who cares? She is now finally out of the hair of the good people of the US and A and the world for that matter.

The papers here are revealing some new information about Hillary that will come as a shock. She was quite the liar as you will see.

First, she must have had some kind of facelift or Botox treatments because there were photos in the paper that made her look a lot like golfer Colin Montgomerie.

Many of them show her in snow gear, which I suppose she wore in New Hampshire before the little girl soaked her.

In addition, they say she was 88 years old, not 60 as she claimed... another Clinton lie!

No wonder Bill kept screwing around with those younger babes.

And get this, you know how Algore claimed to have invented the Internets? Well, that brag pales compared to how Hillary expects us to believe she was the first to climb Mount Everest, which I am told is some sort of famous hill around China.

She probably flew up there on her broom.

At least she finally admitted to being high, which is more than can be said for her young husband.

Well, good riddance is all I have to say.

Now maybe that African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy, Barrack Hussain Osama, will be the candidate that our beloved GOP nominee, Mitt "9-11" Huckabee McCain can crush come November.

Or maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.