Saturday, May 03, 2008

Johnny B. Goode

Well, it's all over the internets, so I guess I better mention it.

Supposedly, allegedly, non-verifiededly, John McCain,War hero and next President of the US and A, way back in 1992, called his wife a c*nt.

Why am I censoring myself? Actually, he called his wife a cunt.

I never use this word. I am not even familiar with it. I needed to Google. I now understand among other naughty bits, it is an insult to females and homosexuals.

According to a book coming out any minute now called The Real McCain, this possible but unlikely non-event happened way back in 1992 at a public setting.

"Three reporters from Arizona, on the condition of anonymity, also let me in on another incident involving McCain's intemperateness. In his 1992 Senate bid, McCain was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, as well as campaign aide Doug Cole and consultant Wes Gullett. At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." McCain's face reddened, and he responded, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt." McCain's excuse was that it had been a long day. If elected president of the United States, McCain would have many long days."

Saint John was asked about this at a recent town hall meeting and instead of lowering himself to speaking about it, he took the high road, protected the ears of those in the audience, and went to the next question. The guy who presented the query, Marty Parrish, a baptist minister, was wrestled to the ground by Secret Service men and scurried away to Gitmo to have his mouth washed out with soap, waterboard style.
The next question anyone will hear from him will be, "Do you think you could you please remove that electrode from my anus, sir?"

Fox News again did the right thing and considered the whole deal as a non-occurance, other than to accuse the questioner of bad taste and anti-Americanism. They then went on to continue to investigate Rev. Wright's gay relationship with Hitler.

Look, maybe McCain did call his wife a cunt, who hasn't? And that was during the time she was stoned out on prescription pills and was a real bitch, I'm sure. Take a gander..

Is this a cunt or what?

As a side note, Cindy is known to refer to John as "Melon-oma Head and Dead Man Walking".
McCain also has a kid, supposedly a chocolate-face. Back when they were opponents, W. Bush inferred it was his black love child. Truth is she was adopted from Bangladesh.

John has been publicly heard to call her "Macaca".

I had some time on my hands and decided to do a little research on name calling in domestic politics and learn a bit more about our strange bedfellows.

I can confirm that Obama calls Michelle a "Nappy-Headed Ho". To her, he is simply, "Dumbo-Eared Oreo Cookie".

Hillary calls Bill "Jerky", which is a short form for " You G-d damned chubby chasing horn dog prick who I would cut your balls off and divorce you in a New York minute if I wasn't running for president, But just you wait until I have a kitchen knife in my hands and the secret serviceman looks the other way.. I am going so OJ on your ass, they won't be able to tell you from beef jerky"

Bill has a little nickname for her... "Fat ass smarty pantsuit"

Laura has W answer to "retardo, not very Curious George, shit for brains, little dick-tator, and drunky-monkey"

He calls her "Stepford Wife who can't pop out a masculine child"

Old man Bush has openly called Barbara, "Saggy Tits Granny" while she has named him "Read My Pussy Lips, you wimp".

Reagan to Nancy - "Edger Bergen" She to him "Charlie McCarthy", or dummy for short.

FDR called his wife, Eleanor "a horse toothed dyke" while she publicly named him, "New Deals on Wheels".

Abe Lincoln knew his wife as "The Bellevue Ball and Chain, or Migraine Mary" She simply called him "Wartface"

I poke fun at our leaders, sure, who doesn't? But this, I swear is true and it will bring this whole silly issue into context.

During the 1st Presidential Inauguration ceremony, right there on the podium, in front of the entire nation, George Washington, believe it or not called his wife, Martha..a cunt.


**** Kimberly has just read this post so far and feels I may be verbally harming 50% of the world's population along with "the children". She insists I should put in some sort of disclaimer warning readers of my language and make an apology.

As I said earlier, this "word" was entirely "new" to me and had no idea it might "insult" "women".

Now I am thoroughly ashamed and repentant.

If anyone out there there has any complaints please send them to:

Marty Parrish
Baptist Minister
Very small cell with electrode up his anus
Guantanamo Bay, Cuba


At 7:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know Mike, I would love to scribe your mantra to your readers for 15 years; circa 1980-1995. However, Barry would be a better candidate for this entry.
I will e-mail Barry and Rick.
Very edgy piece. Well written and well thought out.


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